IPhone? IPad? IGiveup.

I have had the original IPhone for almost 2 years now. It has basically replaced my computer (I don't know if that's a good thing) even though I hate typing on the tiny "virtual" keyboard. The software they came up with for that is sometimes hilarious, when it tries to figure out what you're going to spell--more than half the time when I go to sign my name it spells "Cher" for me. My friends and family would probably much rather hear from her anyway.

Recently, AT&T, the wardens of the imprisoned IPhone, were having some difficulty in my neighborhood (more specifically on my block), and my phone and all of it's "apps" (God, I hate that expression) became useless. I couldn't even call them to scream at them about my lack of service...I had to borrow a friend's phone. My phone had become as useful as a paperweight. This continued for several days, making business, communications, and plain old web-surfing as frustrating as talking between two tin cans attached with a string.

Now, they want me to go out and buy the (cue heavenly chorus) IPad. It looks like it gave birth to my IPhone. Does this thing work? All reports so far are that is doesn't really stay connected to the internet. That's like saying the brakes don't really stay connected on your car--makes it kind of useless. Still, I want to buy one, just to break free of the "big" computer, and, well, just to be "cool". How sad, really. That's how they sell millions of those suckers and nobody wants to say that it really doesn't work very well. When my phone is working at it's best, it's still a mediocre phone. Phone--isn't that in the name of this contraption? Shouldn't that be the part that works the best? If I had a dollar for every dropped call I could buy a large piece of Montana. That phone has almost made it through the window several times--I'm sure it flies well. Should I buy this overgrown IPhone? What did I do before this? Listen to people? Go out in public? Eat with two hands? Read? Watch more TV?

You know the second we all buy one, they will come out with something else--newer, faster, cheaper, cooler. What will it be?

I know--the IPorn.