Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Nene Leakes--I Gush!

Here's how it's gone so far: I loved her on Season 1 of "Real Housewives of Atlanta". Then she got scary-ass full of herself and seemed like she believed her own hype--hated it! Then she went off into another realm with boob jobs, a nose job (see my blog below!), a book, and now every television appearance imaginable. But then, there was last Sunday night....

Nene has been appearing as one of the contestants on this amazingly juicy season of "Celebrity Apprentice". Even Donald Trump's hair can't distract from the voracious cat fights brought about by stroke-of-genious casting: Dionne Warwick, Star Jones, Nene Leakes, and for sheer freak factor, LaToya Jackson. That's right, put four black women in a cage and let 'em go at it. Of course, this is basically the premise behind the massive success of "Real Housewives of Atlanta", so it's no surprise that Nene is outshining those other "amateurs".

Star "Bobble-Head" Jones always looks as if she has just smelled a bad fart or has just farted herself. Her head is gigantic, and she is so full of herself that it is amazing she didn't learn more about how to behave on television from her time on "The View". Dionne Warwick, we discover, is more like Whitney Houston than we ever wanted to know. I am truly sad that such a legend went on reality television only to have the world find out she is an amazingly self-centered megalomaniac. Ungracious, bitchy, back-stabbing, nasty, conniving, and rude? Our Dionne? Didn't she know the way to San Jose? My perception of her is ruined forever.Yes, Whitney, crack is whack....but so is your aunt Dionne. Latoya Jackson? Dear God, what a mess...and that fact was spelled out to her in no uncertain terms last Sunday by a certain Miss Nene Leakes.

After LaToya won a challenge as the project manager for the women's team (even though she did a terrible job and everyone knew it) the women retire to the area outside the board room where Nene spills the "T" (truth) on LaToya. That she: is a weird little girl playing dress-up in the body of an old lady, is a fifty-plus year old woman who has only gotten anywhere because her last name is "Jackson", and is a freak of nature and calls her "Casper the Ghost" because she pretends to be so white. Nene then tells her that if she can't take it, to go and fuckin' hide in the bathroom, because that's where she belongs. Delicious. The NBC executives must have had dollar signs spinning in their eyes when they saw this scene.

Now, is Nene a bully, or a truth teller? Both, I suppose. But haven't we all wanted to say to LaToya Jackson that she is a talentless freak that lived off the fame and infamy of her brother, and is probably at least as crazy? Name a LaToya Jackson song...can you? Nene put a voice to the collective mind of the world Sunday night, and I believe, will continue to do so because people LOVE the truth. Especially when someone else is telling it about someone else.

So, is Nene the next big thing? Like many speculate, will she be the next Oprah? Only she'll be the Oprah who doesn't suck up to celebrities. Or pretend she's not a lesbian. Can't you just hear Nene interviewing Oprah? "Girl, please! Get yourself out of the closet! Bloop!"

"Bloop!" is Nene's trademark expression for "there, I just told the truth." So, I can definitely say I'm a little scared of Nene, but I want to see more of her. I think we all should.


Seeya soon, Chris


  1. I love this exacting recap. It was an awesome episode just for Nene

  2. Chris, If you have a sec, check my secret palm reading I did for Nene...


    Love yer face, can't wait for your show to begin next season!
    Alissa Hall

  3. You said all of the same things that I think......AND MORE!


  4. I stopped caring about all these horrible so-called "real"ity shows like Real Housewives, Hip Hop Wives; Basketballs wives and Heauxs, when the shows do nothing but feature women being ignorant, engaging in nasty cat fighting, loudly bashing each other and most of them had horrible manners and attitudes, yet, some of these women have children! I get it, this is the new Hollywood, Reality Shows from Hell featuring (all REAL artists like C. March excluded) people with absolutely no creative talents whatsoever. Look at all those Kardashians and Jenners that money-loving mother pushed out of her crotch! She pimped them all out on t.v.!

    Sitcoms were nice because they gave an escape for those of us in the REAL world who lost our jobs late in life in this wretched economy. Reality shows are plain dull and ridiculous and I can't wait for Hollywood to change back over to "Whatchu Talkin' 'bout, Willis?" OR, "DY-NO-MITE!" Or, "Archieeeee!"