Tuesday, July 27, 2010

More Mad Men: I Didn't Like It (Don't Hurt Me!)

Am I the only person on earth who thought this episode bordered on disaster? I thought a lot of the acting looked like they were shooting a rehearsal. There are visual anachronisms all over the place, in dress, hairstyle (Peggy's hairdo is still a couple of years away from popularity, and her "boy toy" young Brad Pitt look-alike co-worker has a ridiculously modern haircut! ), set design and art direction. Roger really has a space-age office from the 70's? Yes, these things were entering the mainstream no too soon after the 1964 World's Fair, but I found it out of place and off-putting.

As for Don's "well appointed" new "digs" in the West Village? I know the writers and creator are going for heavy symbolism here, with Don's private life being squalid and dark, but I don't buy it. That neighborhood in the 60's was hedonistic and somewhat dangerous. He brings his kids there? His old beatnik girlfriend had a nicer place. Old, dark, beat up decor that smacks of "furnished apartment"? Don has more money than ever, has been used to a fabulous lifestyle for quite some time, and I would think that when he asked Joan to find him an apartment that she would not ever find him that dump, no matter how hard they want to drive home Don's private tortured symbolism. He polishes his own shoes? Please, he gets them polished at the train station or at work like everyone else in that time period.

The new offices? Everyone keeps going on and on about how "new, open, and fabulous" they are. Really? They look to me like they were conceived to symbolize a rat's maze--all narrow corridors and right angles and walls, walls, walls. Even if they are made of glass. You'll notice we were shown the low ceilings over and over to close us in. We were also shown on at least two occasions that those walls are paper-thin; everyone can hear everyone else. As for the lack of a conference table? Roger can have an office full of the most cutting-edge expensively made furniture on earth but they can't afford a conference table? It just doesn't wash. Many things about the office are too modern: the yin-yang Miramekko peacock textile print behind Peggy's desk, Don's blue Italian Murano glass mod ashtray, Roger's mushroom desk and arc lamps. My guess is that they feel these things will fit in fine by the end of the season (late 1965) and were too cheap and/or lazy so they just plunked them there now.

I also don't buy the fact that Henry would spend one night in Don and Betty's old house. Not one. He convinced her at her attorney consultation about the divorce that he would provide her with everything--he didn't want Don owing her a thing. And now he's freeloading in their old house? Trying to screw Don's wife in their old bedroom? Has Matt Weiner ever been in a relationship? He magically erased Henry of his pride and Betty of her territorial nature as a woman.

Sorry to keep complaining, but the whole ham actresses-fighting-in-a-supermarket scenario rings false as well...if you've ever met or worked with an actor in NYC. Those two women would never have gone to the police. They are actresses hired by a big ad agency in New York--they would never jeopardize the possibility of being hired again. Never. The "ham" was the best symbolism of the night. I think a lot of the activity on this episode rang false because they propelled the action by what they wanted to show us quickly in one hour.

After watching this episode a few times, it still smacks of wrong in a lot of ways to me...like somebody putting ketchup on a doughnut. Am I the only one who feels this way?

Sunday, July 25, 2010

"Happy Spanksgiving!" or...Mad Men Season 4 Premiere: Where the Hell is the Baby?

First things first--Don Draper's first date on tonight's premiere of Mad Men wears a beautiful white dress trimmed with...you guessed it...hair! Ha! Okay, now that that's out of the way, there are a lot of puzzles and sizzles in tonight's episode.

Number one--All I kept wondering about the whole episode (practically from the first sentence when the Ad Age interviewer refers to Don as being married with "two" children) is what happened to the baby? Betty and her new husband (yuck, the two of them actually doing it!) don't have it, she says Carla has it, and Don certainly doesn't have it with the other two kids for the weekend. At one point when arguing about moving, Betty says, "...haven't the kids been through enough change?" Uh-oh...the last time we saw little Gene he was in Mama's arms flying to Reno for a D-I-V-O-R-C-E . Did little Sally freak out and toss him out the window? Wrap him in a dry-cleaning bag? Put him in the washing machine? She is definitely turning out to be a "Bad Seed" knock off. Hmmmm.....the mystery promises to unfold, because the baby isn't in any preview material for next week's episode.

Other things about this week's episode that I find disturbing: we have jumped to November of 1964, but the visual department of the show (not the costumes, though) seemed to have jumped to 1967 and beyond. I hate to say it, but for the first time the art direction rings false in several places, which makes me sad. Some random observances...Roger would NEVER have had a white vinyl and chrome chair with the white plastic signature mushroom mod lamp on his desk. It was like they walked through one of the doors in the office into 1968. Also, Don has an uncharacteristically mod Italian Murano glass ashtray on his coffee table. Again, 67-68. Peggy's hairdo is strictly 1966--the invention of Alexandre of Paris that appears originally in the 1967 movie "Valley of the Dolls" on Patty Duke. It was copied into the mainstream thereafter. Not that any of this is that big of a deal, it's just that the show is always leading the way in impeccable television. Tonight they showed some holes in their armor.

(While we're wondering about things)--will Sal ever come back? Everyone says "no", but I have a foolproof storyline that would work. Just hear me out: Sal has gotten another job doing something similar, but wishes desperately to come and be part of the new SCDP. But how can he, their main client is American Tobacco, headed by the closeted-homo Lee, who hit on Sal unsuccessfully in his last episode and had him fired. Somehow (there would be lots of fun ways to do this) Sal gets a piece of blackmail evidence against Lee (pics of him in bed with another man, etc.) and uses it to force Lee to get SCDP to hire him back as Art Director for the account. This would leave a fabulous power-play triangle between Don, Sal, and Lee. Think about it, Matt Weiner.....

And now, to the most erotic thing I believe I have ever seen on television--Don Draper having hot violent sex with a hooker on Thanksgiving. Not only did Don turn down every possible invitation for Thanksgiving, he turned them down to have a dirty-hot slutty red headed hooker come over (obviously, she's been there before) and ride his turkey leg. OMG! There he is, bare chested, on the botttom, screwing the daylights out of said hooker, when she slaps him! I almost made gravy in my pants. And then, to top it off, he says, "Harder!" Well sportsfans....I. Am. Speechless.

I need to go.....

See you next week for another episode,


Wednesday, July 21, 2010

MAD MEN Premiere July 25th in Times Square NYC

It's that time again! The world can rejoice that the best show on television returns for it's fourth season. And I don't mean "Keeping up with the Krackheads", either. It's Mad Men! Big Daddy Don Draper, along with Peggy, Betty, Trudy, Pete, Burt, Roger, and the ever-luscious Joan are beaming their way from 1964 into our living rooms for an exciting new season.

Yes, I will be making an appearance at the Times Square Premiere (yippee!) as a judge for the 1960's costume contest that takes place right before they play the first episode on the jumbo screen. So put on your finest garb and join us on the New Frontier...

Click here for details.

Thursday, July 8, 2010

Did Freud Drink Gatorade?

Okay, so this morning I am laying in bed with my boyfriend, who happens to like drinking Gatorade after a night of making full man-love (more about that some other time), and I look up in a pre-coffee daze and see a large penis. Upon closer inspection, I realize I am not looking at my boyfriend, but an empty bottle of Gatorade on the nightstand. After all these years, how did it never dawn on me that this bottle is so blatantly phallic? I thought I was gayer than that (watch it!). The bottle looks exactly like a short, thick, squatty penis with a perfectly formed head (see pics above). And people got upset about Joe Camel? You actually put this thing up to your lips and drink from it. Delicious. Who could possibly have that shape of penis, you ask?

Well, in the gay community, this type of penis is referred to as:

a) Beer Can

b) Fire Hydrant

c) Jaw Breaker

In the straight community, I believe this type of penis is referred to as "Ryan Seacrest". I am suddenly so tickled by the idea of major athletes and young stud-muffin hetero boys guzzling greedily from their penis-substitute bottles. Didn't they ever notice? Or is that part of the subliminal ad campaign? Once they realize that they have been blowing their bottles of Gatorade, will they boycott it?

I know I see everything through my pair of Gay Goggles, but really--come on fellas. Take a look. And then try to put that big, fat, hard object up to your mouth without feeling at least a little gay. Freud would have had a field day with this thing--forget cigars and bananas, my manly thirst needs quenching...now! So if you're gay, straight, Tom Cruise or Ryan Seacrest, get out there and play the game. Remember--it's not whether you win or lose--it's if you swallow.

I've always said the straight world has it wrong--gays don't hate sports; we just don't want to leave the locker room.

Seeya soon, Chris